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[Nov. 6th, 2005|12:41 am] |
Well today Me and Alan got in it again today!! He said that his buddy Brandon followeed me to my best friend Maryanne's boyfriend Corndogs house!! I guess they said I was going over there too meet some guy!!!!!!! Honestly I was just going over there too kick it!! My best friend is my only friend!!! Well he also said I always f*ck him over and he always forgives me!! When it is the other way around!! Ok lets just put it this way we have been together for 3 almost four years and he as cheated on me so many times! I forgave him every time! I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HIM AT ALL!!! I moved to tennesse with him and Robert and He hit me so I moved back!!! He called me to go get him so I did and we got back together cuz he said he would change!! He Didn't!!! I put up with all his name callin and How he puts me down and makes me fill like I am nothing and don't deserve to live And them last week I went to his hotel cuz he gave me the key and told me to meet him there and and he never showed up!! I left at 1:30am because my mom got of and I didn't wanna stay there alone and he said if i Didn't leave he would call the law cuz it was in his name and he didn't want me there!! So I left!! Then this morning I woke up and had 13 miss calls on my cell and to many texts!! I am freaked here he told me to move on but he wont let me!! What should I do? I mean I do love him we have a kid together but I cant take this sh*t no more!! I want a real relationship one where I am happy! I don't got to fight over stupid SH*T!! I want my son to have a good life and grow up happy!! I don't want no more drama!! Well I went for a ride with my best friend Maryanne and had fun. It felt nice I even saw this perfect guy who was so hot and tan at speedway!! Lets just say "OH MY GOD" If I wasnt in my night clothes I might have said hello!! But I din't oh well tho I really ain't ready for another guy I need some time off!! I wanna get my selfesteem back before I date again!!!!!!! Well hen I got home my son was sayin "Roberts gone" Robert was hurt" Robert died" "Robert don't wanna be dead!! I ain't lying. He flipped me out. But I told hi "Yep he is in heaven eith GOD, JESUS, and THE ANGLES!! thats still crazy tho!! I miss him so much but yet its like he is just on a long tip and he will be back when I go to that long trip too!!!
I will not let my son forget him tho!! He was my little brother and He is Elija's uncle still!! Well I got to go I will write again!! |
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[Nov. 2nd, 2005|02:24 pm] |
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Well today has been a good day except for last night me and alan got into it again. He always lets his loud mouth step mom ladawyna get into our relationship!! I love him with all my heart and I have wanted to be with him for ever but he dont act like he wants to be with me so what can i say? I give up! I am done tryin to make our relationship work when he dont want it too!! I am the only one tryin to make it work and i am done with it!!! Well I finally got approved for section8 finally. I have been on the waiting list since 2003 when i got pregnant with Elija!! So i am so happy bout that one. I am lookin for a house now I hope i get one soon because I want to live on my own!! After I find a house I am going to look for a job then a baby sitter because i am gonna need one!! Well Nov.29 I have to go to court with Alan for custody of Elija and I am gonna try my hardest to get it! I still dont have a lawyer but I will find one!! I have too if I want to get custody of my son!! Well I am gonna try my hardest to give my son everything he wants in life!! I hope when he gets older he realizes how much I love him and how I fault so hard to keep him!! With out him I have no life he is my life!! Well i aint sure if i told you bout what happened on October6 but I let alan take Elija for the night he was supost to bring him back on the 7 but when i called him he said he wasnt and didnt have to bring him home so I had everyone even the law lookin for him and my son then finally on the 12 he came home I was so happy I missed my son so much!! I signed 3 counts of interfernce with custody on him and he is in alot of trouble but he brought it all on his self!! Well I will write again when i get time bye! And remember everything happens for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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[Aug. 30th, 2005|05:52 pm] |
Well today is a rainy day!! Me and Alan are not living together no more because we got to get everything on the right
track!!! He is living with him dad and I am staying with my parents!! and it REALLY SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His dad hates my gutts and he always talk shit about me. You know what i do not care what he says because he ain't no better! With his crack head of a girl friend!! She is in the hospital for a spinal infection that she cant get rid of!! I guess they say she is dying!! I dont wish death on here but after everything she has stole from Me, Alan, Elija, and everyone else i aint gonna feel sorry foe her. Alan does and I do not see why!! Me and Alan have done nothing but fight 24/7. So everything is gettin crazy around here these days. I wish Rob was here every day when bad thing go down! He was always here for me when me and Alan was fighting now I cant even call him and talk to him about any thing!! It really sucks too!!!!!!!!!!! I just wish it was all a dream |
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[Aug. 21st, 2005|03:19 pm] |
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Well Wenesday, and Thursday I was in celina, ohio with Jessica, Mikey, Josh, David, Lana, Marie, Vannassa, Grandma, Josh Burks, T.T.,Holly, Amber, Brandon, Trish, Aaron, Tiffany, and about 150people I didn't even know! And why was we all there? It wasn't to hang out!! It was to tell our really good friend Robert Lee Honchul/Fields goodbye for now till we meet again! Man it was so crazy all the people he new and all the people who knew him. There was so many people there crying cuz the couldn't believe he was gone!! I still cant to this day!! I miss that punk so much!!! Well i have to say I am so glad that his step mom cared enough about him to make him have the best funeral she could give him!! And it was a good one!!! We went to the tree that dude hit when he lost control of the car, and they got a blue cross there for Rob! Babyblue was his favorite color!! The crazy thing is, Is Jamie might be pregnant again! By Robert!! I hate this so much Robert should be able to raise all his kids but he never got the chance and its all four of his babies-mama fault!! I just wish he was still here!! Well i am depressed now so I got to go bye!! |
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[Aug. 15th, 2005|02:42 pm] |
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Rest In Peace: Robert Lee Honchul.
WE <3 AND MISS YOU!!! YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN...
Robert Lee Honchul/Fields was always there for his friends no matter what the situations were! He always found the way to make you laugh when you was down!! He was loved bye everyone who new him. He loved everyone he new. He will never be forgotten and his name will live on!! WE LOVE YOU ROBERT LEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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[Aug. 15th, 2005|01:50 pm] |
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These last few days have really sucked! Sunday morning my little brother Robert Lee fields died on 703 in celina in a carr accident. I wish it was just a bad dream but it is real and it really sucks bad! I don't know why he had to die and the guy who was drinking and driving didn't! Why Robert? He was to sweet of a guy and to kind hearted to die! Not only that to young! He had his hole life ahead of him!! HE had three kids that aint even grown yet! That need Rod to be around as the grow up. And he cant be there now because he is gone forever! Maryanne is upset because Hailey might be Rob's and now she will never know her real dad!! Weiner Frog said "Now you cant throw it up in my face about Robert being Hailey's dad because he is six feet under and aint there for her no more! that makes me mad because Robert ain't done nothing to that geek!! For him to say something so mean about him when he died!! He needs to be mad at Maryanne for cheating on him!! With Robert!! I still dont see why it had to be Robert that had to die!! Alls I know is I will miss him so much and I love him so much! And I will never forget him ever in my life time! |
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[Oct. 7th, 2004|10:06 am] |
today is a good day so far!! Alan went to work and he left me some money so its all gravy baby!! Last night at liz and joshes house he started talkin about when we lived in tenn. and basically told on his self!! I dont know i just got this feelin that its not ment to be!! I mean yeah we got a son together and all and i love him with all my heart but i cant stand to be lied to!! I mean why lie if you love some one? I have never cheated on him at all and i put that on my son's life till this day:) He just dont seem to believe me. I dont understand why he lies but i understand that i am sick of the LIES!!! I mean I love this man and wanna marry him, but why when he probably wont stay faithful? I dont know maybe i am over reacting!!
Well i still haven't talked to Ashley. And honestly I dont want to if she believes Justin the player over me, because i never lie. Why lie when you can tell the truth? Justin is a BREWER they are all players!! Thats the way I see it!!
Well my family drives me crazy!! My little sisters are so spoild its not even funny, I dont see how my parents let them get away with the stuff they do!! I know when i was growin up I easn't never aloud to do shit!! And now they can do ehat ever they want to do? that is some BS if I ever seen it.
Lori finally went to jail. Thank god!! I mean I love my sister and all and would never wish nothing bad on her, but all the bad shit she has done to my family i dont see why we should care if she goes to jail or not cuz she deserves it!! My mom thinks Kelly called the cops on her but she didnt!! Kelly is one of my god friends and lori messed up choosing trish the bitch over kelly and her two beautiful boys she got!! She could do better without ryan tho:( Well that is all I have to say today!! See ya tomorrow |
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[Oct. 5th, 2004|03:37 pm] |
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today my sister nancy comes home i am so happy!!! We are supost to get a house but it doesn't look to good right now. It seems like every time we get our heads on right someone always tries to bring us down!! Elija is walkin now and he is gettin so big its not even funny. In away it is cuz he is growing so fast and the things he does all day long makes me laugh haha lol!!! Ashley finally turned her self in she is mad at me but you know what i could careless cuz alls i did was try to help her out and show her that justin aint worth her freedom. He cheats on her and dont love her like she needs and deserves to be loved!! I just was lookin out for her, and if she cant see that and appreciate that then she can choose him over all her friends!! It dont matter to me any more. I still love her and am here for her when and if she needs me ever i am just done with the drama. It seems like that is all middletown is any more!! Me and alan are better!! |
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[Aug. 16th, 2004|02:35 pm] |
Well today has been a better day!! Alan finally came back to ohio!! He is working with randy moving furniture!! HE is making okay money!! He needs a better job but that one will due for now.
Elija's first birthday is coming up Sept 13,2004 i cant wait.
we already been shoppin trin to find the right gift. He is so spoild its not even funny. But thats what happens when you are the only grand baby!!!! We are gonna try and have it at seabald park. Hopefully it dont rain:(
Lori is goona turn her self in this week. Bout time! I just want her to get it off her record. And move on in life. Get a job and take care of her self |
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| Hello |
[Jul. 14th, 2004|12:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bluegrass | ] |
Its July 14th 12:45 pm... and i am sitting here on the computer with my lovely sister jody, missing alan... :) I am bored... and horny because i aint had none in weeks... but thats another story... lol...
I went swimming today to try to work on my tan... but it didnt work because im still the same white ass bitch... lmao... but i will continue going to the pool to try and get some sun... but i cant ever seem to get any... o well...
I waited around for alan to call... never did... must not have been able to get to a phone and use it... Elija had fun today swimming... He hates the pool though... he sures likes jacuzies though... lol... hes starting to get use to it though... he loves drinkin the water... cant be good for him thouhg... lol..
I walked to Rhonda's today but she wasnt home... so i had to walk all the way back...
My sister Jody came home today... i missed her... She was over there with her friend "Burt"... lol...like the cartoon character...
Well... off to bed... Talk to you kids later... Bye |
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